Freckles in April: January 2019

Monday, January 7, 2019

4 Things I Learned from Our 6 Month Spending Fast

Picture from our summer trip to the redwoods

In 2018 I set a resolution to go on a spending fast. I wrote:

Every time we go through our finances we cringe a little at how much money we spend. I decided (and made everyone else get on board) that for 6 months we are only going to buy things we have consumed or used up and need to replace. I want us to think a lot harder every time we reach for our credit cards. Plus this will allow us to save up for a summer trip we're trying to plan.

I was initially inspired by Miranda's More Than Enough Stuff experiment but Christmas 2017 was bonkers and I just felt overwhelmed by our family's consumerism. I knew six months of not buying new junk wouldn't hurt us.

Aaron forgot about his commitment to the idea almost immediately (if you were married to him you would not be remotely surprised by this). What was supposed to be a family goal ended up just being a Kayla goal. It became a test of my endurance and commitment and I'm proud to say that I mostly stuck with it and learned some really interesting lessons along the way.

1. Sometimes online window shopping scratches the itch

Right off the bat I realized I have a bit of a shopping compulsion. Checking my fav sites for sales or new items was such a big part of my routine that I seriously struggled to stop myself from looking. I assumed that looking would lead to buying and then I'd have lost the battle. But! I was wrong. Looking (and even adding items to my cart) didn't lead to buying. It just allowed me to look at and dream about pretty things without spending any money. Then I'd close my browser window and move on with my life with that same sense of satisfaction.

2. That feeling of NEEEED fades faster than you'd think

Early on I decided that I would ask for gift cards for my birthday to buy some of the things that I was dyyying over. It was my loophole. I made a private Pinterest board and used it to keep track of all the things that I would have immediately bought for myself if I hadn't been on a spending fast. But when my birthday rolled around and I looked at my Pinterest board I realized I didn't particularly want or need anything on there anymore.

That was a huge light bulb moment for me. So many of my purchases are made on the basis of instant gratification. Putting items on a Pinterest board and coming back to them later has given me a better perspective as to what I actually want versus what makes me feel good in the moment. I've started really dragging my feet when I buy things for myself. I just barely pulled the trigger on the Everlane wrap dress I've wanted for months. I wanted to make sure my excitement about it didn't fade before I spent the money.

3. Things wear out fast

I thought our shopping would drastically drop off but, as it turns out, we go through stuff really quickly. We're a fairly active family and our shoes do not last long. My kids are growing and speeding through clothes so quickly I can't keep up (I finally got StitchFix boxes for my boys. LIFE CHANGING. I'm planning to write about it). I cook a lot and occasionally ruin clothing. I was surprised how often I still had to buy shoes or replace clothing (I did make efforts at repair!). This actually made me feel a lot better about my previous shopping habits- some of it was definitely unnecessary but plenty of it was replacing the things that a very busy and active family wears through.

4. Buying things is SO MUCH FUN when you're not buying much

A few months in I managed to wear holes through one of my very favorite tank tops that I wear all the time. In the spirit of my resolution I replaced it with essentially the same thing- same brand, color, and a very similar style (the original was no longer available). Placing that order and waiting for the package to arrive was SO EXCITING. Even though the item itself wasn't novel (almost the exact same as the one I had before!) I could. not. wait. It had been months since I had the chance to anticipate something coming for me in the mail. When the shirt arrived I felt deeply satisfied. The whole experience was so different from what I'd been experiencing before, which was more or less like, "Wait that package is for me? What did I even order??"

Replacement tank top in action while looking through antique shops with friends in June

After six months of extremely limited spending I thought I'd go a little wild but mercifully that wasn't the case. I did buy a few things but, because I had spent 6 months thinking about what I really wanted, the things I got were deeply wanted and appreciated. Those habits have carried over (mostly. I'm not perfect). I sit on things for a while before I buy. If something arrives and I don't LOVE it then I return it. I really enjoy receiving the odd package in the mail. I generally feel more content with my possessions.

So in a year that didn't go quite the way I wanted, I'm grateful that one of my resolutions worked out really well for me and gave me a chance to learn and grow!

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Wednesday, January 2, 2019

2018 Resolution Report (or: How I Failed in 2018)

Hiking in Sedona with my blonde hair that lasted for like three seconds because it was insanely high maintenance

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I LOVE making resolutions for the new year. I love lists, I love planning, I love setting goals. Resolutions are my jam and I'm generally really good at keeping them. Normally I can go through my list at the end of the year and think, "check...check...check..." and bask in a sense of accomplishment and growth.

2018 was not that kind of year for me and my resolutions (which you can find here). Let's take a look:

1. Read to my kids more

I think this one lasted for maybe two weeks. I made a few more attempts throughout the year but we just couldn't ever seem to hit on a book that we were all interested in. I really do believe in the value of reading aloud to your children but, for some reason, it's a struggle for us. For example, we all love Harry Potter individually but cannot seem to read it together as a family. We probably need therapy as there is clearly something wrong with us.

2. Keep to our schedule

This was totally doable in wintertime but was much harder in the summer when the sun was basically still shining in my kids' windows at bedtime. I can't say this was a complete failure but it wasn't a win either. We did our best.

3. Go on a spending fast

This was likely my most successful resolution, though it petered out a bit at the end. I learned some really valuable lessons from it though, which I think I'll address in a future blog post (...probably).

4. Reach out to far-flung friends and family

I should have immediately spotted the flaw here. Resolutions 3 and 4 are at odds with one another and I chose #3. I did try to maintain a connection though. Marco Polo was really helpful with this and I felt like I was able to maintain closer relationships with people I love who live far away. I spoke regularly with everyone on my list. It wasn't exactly what I had in mind but I think it accomplished the same thing.

5. Take time to be creative

This summer I made my kids do a creative project every day (if you go on to my Instagram you can tap the "Creative Summer" highlight to see some of the projects we did). I'm not going to lie, it was work on my part and required that I tolerate clutter that would normally have me tearing my hair out, but I think it was one of the best things we did all year. The goal was for ME to take more time to be creative and, since I was making my kids be creative, I did find myself sitting to paint, draw, or letter. It's still not as often as I would have liked and it only lasted for the summer, but thinking back on the summer makes me so happy.

Painting with a neighbor friend

6. Be consistent

And here's where it alllll fell apart. I had a sort of perfect storm in 2018 that killed so many of the good habits I worked so hard to put in place in 2016 and 2017. At the beginning of 2018 I knew I'd probably be part of the new PTO board at my kids' school but, after a chain of unexpected events, I was elected PTO president. I decided that, if I was going to do it, I was going to DO IT and also make it easier for everyone who comes after me. This means I've spent a lot of time on PTO- planning events, putting systems into place, and then writing it all down in an operations manual for future boards. It will be so much easier going forward but this year was a lot.

Also, I've felt really crummy. For some reason, my body doesn't like food. It's been coming on slowly for a long time (and it definitely got worse around the time I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's) but it got really bad over the past little while. I tried CrossFit this year (and loved it!) but had to quit after only six months because I just couldn't eat enough food to fuel my body for that kind of exercise without feeling awful. After years of consistently working out, I haven't been to the gym in 4 months. I'm working with a gastroenterologist trying to figure out what's going on with me (had the best nap of my life after an upper GI endoscopy) but the things we've tried so far feel a bit like band-aids. They help...but only kind of.

Overall I had a pretty great year but it also felt like I took some major steps backward. I finished 2017 feeling SO good and then finished 2018 feeling sort of confused and really tired.

That being said, I'm optimistic about this year. I'm adjusting my expectations for myself and my family and hoping to come out of 2019 in a better place.

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