Freckles in April: Things I Do Not Understand

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Things I Do Not Understand

One

About 6 months ago I was listening to Spotify and my computer made this ca-razy squeaky screech noise and gave me a big scary error warning window and my sound has not worked since. If I wanted to watch a video with sound I had to copy the link, send it to myself, go find my phone, retrieve the link from my email, watch the video on my phone, then go back to my computer to make the appropriate Facebook comment because I removed FB from my phone because it was eating my life (irony). It was ridiculous and is probably why I have not watched ANY videos of anyone's kids lately. I'm sure that thing they said was adorable but I don't know where my phone is and I just can't be bothered.

Anyway, yesterday I was shopping for light fixtures (#adulting) and an advertisement auto played as I scrolled past and I almost peed my pants when a woman started shouting at me from my speakers about health insurance rates. Apparently sound cards or whatever the freak else was broken are self-healing.

I do not understand technology.


Two

Right about the time I stopped nursing The Caboose I started having horrific stomach pain. Every time I ate it felt like there was broken glass in my belly. After a few days of that I Googled to see if I was dying and one of the possible causes that popped up was an overactive thyroid. "Huh," I though, "I wonder if I need a thyroid med adjustment." The next morning I didn't take my thryoid medicine and the pain stopped. I made a mental note to call my doc ASAP for some bloodwork and a prescription adjustment.

Four and a half months later I made an appointment (#adulting). I just got a call saying my thyroid levels are completely normal and I'm fine to continue not taking my thyroid medication. Apparently my thyroid, along with my sound card, is self-healing.

I do not understand my thyroid.


Three

My big kids have been horrific lately. I'm not sure if it's the back-to-school schedule that has them worn out or what but they're just...awful. We're talking next-level disrespect and fighting from kids who are usually at worst mildly obnoxious and forgetful when it comes to putting their shoes away.

One of them stole some Legos from his friend last week. Aaron had to pull a confession out of him because he would not budge for me. The next day I took him back to his friend's house so he could return the Legos and apologize (#adulting). I sent him back to the car so I could chat with the mom for a second about how exasperated I was feeling with their behavior as of late. As the words were leaving my mouth one boy hurt his brother so his brother attacked him and suddenly there was a full on CAGE MATCH complete with screaming and flailing limbs going on inside my mini-van and I was just standing there like




I do not understand what has possessed my children.


(send cookies)(and maybe another adult to take over for me)

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5 comments:

  1. Ha, this made me laugh, especially the last story. We're waiting to have kids until I finish my PhD (six more months!), and while I am feeling baby hungry most days, I think I'll be okay for today ;-)

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  2. I can relate on so many levels.

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  3. Kayla, I get it with the kids. The thing is mine are always, 100% of the time like that. Always. I feel like a horrible failure and I can't figure out how two relatively normally people like Blaine and I wound up with such insane, belligerent, disrespectful, embarrassingly disobedient kids. I love them, but MAN. I'm sorry they are being skunks, here's hoping it's just temporary! And I am so glad that things in your life are healing, bonus!

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  4. yay for a healing thyroid. you are the reason i got mine checked after baby number 2, because i remember your post on losing hair, being cranky, and short memory. so, thanks for that!

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