I feel equal parts annoyance (awake again? Really?) and gut-wrenching mama love as I pull her out of her crib, sniff her lavender scented head, and settle into the rocking chair. This baby is my worst sleeper and not a particularly good nurser. Her hunger is a frantic, angry sort of thing, even after we've added formula and bottles to the mix. I often joke that she goes from 0 to starving in less than 60 seconds. Despite her firm belief that she is wasting away from neglect she falls asleep almost immediately after latching on. I sigh and begin our routine in which I spend 30 minutes prodding my baby, reminding her that she's hungry and needs to eat so I can go back to bed. She fills her belly in fits and starts while I let my mind wander, desperately trying to stay awake.
She reminds me of a glow worm, I think sleepily. Bald, wiggly and incandescently beautiful. It's a comparison that makes me laugh in the morning but there's some truth to it. Whenever I set her down during the day I inevitably come back to find at least one of the males in our home trying to coax a smile or giggle out of her. We're all drawn to her sweet baby glow. She smiles with her whole body, from the wrinkle at the bridge of her nose to her wide open gummy grin to her joyous wiggling toes. She often gets pulled from the dark and quiet of her bedroom to finish her nap in the car as we ferry her brothers around and she rarely complains about it. She's a snuggler- my first! We can't get enough.
I spent many years quite happy in my role as Queen of All in our home. For her, I happily concede my throne and my sleep. She's worth it.
Other things I've written in other places this week:
How My Marriage Survived my Change of Faith
Five Things to Know for First Time Home Sellers
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