Freckles in April: From the Archives

Friday, January 7, 2011

From the Archives

The picture makes this one.


A few months ago Aaron donated $25 to the Mitt Romney campaign. It was a nice gesture and I was just proud of him for caring enough about anything political to put forth the effort.

Mitt hasn't left us alone since.

Well, not Mitt per se, but you know what I mean. Aaron has gotten nonstop unsolicited phone calls from Team Romney saying things like, "I see that you donated $25 and I've got you down for $75 more, will you be paying by check or credit card?"

They have sent him mail solicitations almost on a weekly basis, special "Hooray you donated!" certificates, and the like. They've probably spent 6 times what he donated just trying to get him to donate more.

Then, today, in what I felt was the boldest move yet, they came to our house. I was napping with Stinky and ignored the doorbell. After I got up, I found a manila envelope shoved in the door crack.

Inside the manila envelope was an extensive list of names, addresses, and phone numbers along with a cover letter explaining that we are to call all these people (there are at least 100) and tell them why we are voting for Mitt and urge them to vote for him as well. We are asked to "please call the names on this list between now and Sunday, or if some calling spills onto Monday that's OK." How magnanimous of them, giving us that extra day.

Next, they will be showing up at our door (possibly dressed like missionaries?) asking us to donate our souls to the campaign. And when we refuse, they will request our first born. Because they are shameless like that.

And so, I offer this word of wisdom to you: do not let any candidate know you exist, must less that you support him/her. Don't make eye contact. They can smell that $10 bill in your wallet and. they. want. it. Just back awaaaay from the political process. Show up to vote (I suggest wearing large sunglasses), then go home, lock your doors and close your blinds.

Because once they know where you are, they will not leave you alone. They will be watching. Mitt will be watching.


  1. HA! I love this so much.

  2. What?! We donated to Obama back in the day and besides the occasional email, we haven't been bothered.

  3. My thought when I read this was that Mitt probably spent way more to stalk you then the $25 you donated. Insane.

    (Also, did the guys really look like missionaries? That bugs me for some reason.)

  4. I donated to MItt and other than emails, I haven't heard from his camp. I guess you guys are the lucky ones!


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